I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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