you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
