the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
