as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
