At least make sure they are 18
Why
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
