Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
