i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
