i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
