Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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