jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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