please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
