I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
