I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
