so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Its about making memories worth repressing
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
