I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
