There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
