Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
