Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
