Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
pray to the hookup gods
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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