we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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