All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
