he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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