you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
