I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
