im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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