Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize