I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
