My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My penis needs a shock collar
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
