Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
