Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize