Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
dude. I can hear the air.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize