Whod you bang
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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