Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
