I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
