it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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