This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
