the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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