This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
