We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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