so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
