dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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