Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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