i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
