If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
