I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
