dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Welp...herpes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
