he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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