Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame

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(818): View more from California

dude, i look like john mccains neck right now

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(650): View more from California

I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??

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(802): View more from Vermont

Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.

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(772): View more from Florida

I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.

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