My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize