i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
