Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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