So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
