yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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