Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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