brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
no, he came in my armpit
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
