I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
His nipple licking is glorious
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