I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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