Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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