Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
