Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
