well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
