I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
