Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I need a beard to bite.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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