I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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