honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i've created a new STD.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
