Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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