I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
