Reggie can tackle my bush.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
