are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
