I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
