Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize